How to Negotiate: Skills of Diplomacy

Source: Training Development Resources/Advocacy — "How to Negotiate" worksheet

A youth-facing framework (casual "vibes"-style tone in the original, aimed at a teen audience) for negotiating with someone you don't fully agree with. Organizes negotiation skill into three clusters:

• Relational skills (needed to work with others): collaboration (bringing in others' ideas to find common ground), leadership (deciding using available info while keeping the big picture in mind), composure (handling a range of attitudes and behaviors from others).
• Informational skills (how to approach a situation): analysis (thinking critically about the situation), awareness (respecting different cultures/perspectives and noticing how you're coming across), communication (sharing your position, listening, finding overlap).
• Operational skills (needed to take action): management (using team strengths and available resources), innovation (having a backup plan, staying flexible), advocacy (speaking on behalf of those not in a position to speak for themselves).

Includes a self-rating scale ("got it on lock" / "vibin' in the middle" / "getting the hang of") for each skill — usable directly as a self-assessment worksheet with a young person.

DEAR MAN / GIVE (Advocacy Planning)

Source: Training Development Resources/Advocacy — "DEAR WHAT? Planning for Advocacy" worksheet

A youth-friendly walkthrough of the DBT interpersonal-effectiveness skill DEAR MAN, for planning how to ask for something the other person might resist:

• Describe the situation, sticking to facts.
• Express your feelings/opinions about it — don't assume the other person already knows.
• Assert what you want directly; don't assume they'll figure it out.
• Reinforce by explaining the positive effect of getting what you're asking for.
• Maintain it with Mindfulness (stay on topic, don't get derailed), Gentleness (respectful, no threats or judgment), appearing Interested and confident, and using Negotiation (offering/asking for solutions that work for both sides) — plus Validating the other person's concerns and keeping an Easy manner throughout.

The worksheet models this with a concrete example script (asking a supervisor for a raise), which makes it easy to adapt into a template for whatever a young person is trying to advocate for — with a boss, a teacher, a parent, or a caseworker.